anybody listening?

But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. Jer. 20:9 NIV

Have you ever wondered if anyone is listening? Teachers suffer this trauma on a regular basis but manage to put it out of their minds or else they will all become used car salesmen. Parents have to wonder, as well, when simple tasks that should be automatic go undone by their children. Wives know for a fact that husbands cannot recall a thing said over breakfast but that they can recall Roberto Clemente’s life-time batting average. Men would not notice if their male counterparts wore the same shirt 5 days in a row, which is comforting if you are a man. But it is maddening if you are a woman who labors over her choice of a daily outfit only to be totally ignored.

The truth is that someone is always listening, always observing. We have so little clue as to who that is and what gems are being stored away in another’s hard drive of memory. I post a Scripture verse out front most every morning and have wondered if anyone ever reads them. The other day, Mary C------ walked in the front door and made reference to the daily Scripture verse and knocked me off balance by saying, “I read those every day.” I felt as if I had been thoroughly and soundly rebuked!

A wedding invitation came in the mail the other day from a student I had ten years ago in a Bible class during a year of teaching that was permeated from start to finish with spiritual struggle that left me utterly drained. I have put much of that time out of my memory because of the daily fight to keep the plow in the ground and my eyes straight ahead. Doubts flooded over me regarding my ability, my calling, and my message. There were some good times, but the bad times are always more livid in our memories. Anyhow, I felt somewhat awed that I was even remembered with an invitation from a student way back then, but also, there was the scrawled note in the corner: “I can’t believe it’s been 10 years. I still have fond memories of playing guitar with you in Bible class (we sang Scripture songs). Thank you for teaching us God’s truth and striving to prepare us for the real world of ‘not-so-Christian world views.’ I will never forget you. It would be great to see you in May.” A ghost out of Christmas past would not have had any less effect upon me as those few lines. My Scrooge-like memories lost their hard-bitten edge as I was transformed by the thought, “Yes, somebody was listening.” But from there, it is one small step to reflect upon the notion that if my “widow’s mite” worth of witness touched another soul, then how much more could I have done or should have I done with the time and opportunity that were granted?

Once when I was working for TVA, a fellow employee relayed to me how someone else thought I was a bit crazy. I wonder that about myself quite often so I was quite ready to hear additional evidence. Instead, the explanation left me both pleased and scared. It appeared that one of my fellow workers was standing in line behind me in a hardware store as I made a few small purchases. Among those items were some small flashlight bulbs. His conclusion was simple. I must be ‘nuts,’ for anybody could simply walk away from TVA with all the flashlight bulbs they would ever need or want. Why would anyone go out and buy them? That episode haunts me to this day. Someone was watching. They caught me in a good deed for which I was thankful. How many have watched me when I was less than at my Christian best?

Yes, Virginia, there is someone listening, watching, observing. The reminders may be few and far between, but they are there. Our duty is to be faithful regardless of the crowd, the recognition, the response, or those spells of dull and defeating silence. Even a little light defeats darkness. Nay, pierces it.

Summer News

"Jesus saith unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, to finish his work." – John 4:34

What drives us? What drives me? It is an uncomfortably introspective question that can reveal much. Nothing can start one thinking about this as quickly as food, or the lack thereof. In training for a hike I just completed this summer, I had a goal to loose 8 pounds. There was no point in drilling holes in the handle of my toothbrush to lighten my load by a quarter ounce when I could cut back on my feed and loose 8 pounds I did not need to drag up and down the mountain. Passing up the seconds on all the good home cooking I regularly see was a challenge. But that, plus regular exercise, put me well within accomplishing that goal by the time I left to go west. It was a matter of being driven by a dream of hiking into thinner air unencumbered by the unnecessary.

Seven days of carrying one’s provisions kept all of us pared back to the essentials. It was interesting to hear grown men talking about the content labels of everything from olive oil to candy bars in determining the nutritive and caloric content. We looked for the biggest bang for the least weight. One of us rejoiced in eating a giant Snickers bar for lunch everyday having found it contained over 500 calories. Food became an obsession for there was seemingly never enough of it, especially for our younger set. Bartering broke out on the fourth day into the hike. Fishing took on special significance. I never felt like I was going hungry but still lost an additional five pounds for the week in spite of some trail ending splurges at a pizza shop.

But there was sufficient time and opportunity to contemplate the truth of “man shall not live by bread alone but by every word the proceeds from the mouth of God.” How many of our waking moments are preoccupied by what we eat or desire to eat? Moses went up into the mountain to obtain the ten commandments and “neither did eat bread nor drink water” for forty days and nights. Elijah was given a couple of meals by an angelic messenger and “went in the strength of that meat forty days and forty nights unto Horeb the mount of God.” These were men on a mission who were sustained by the Lord in miraculous fashion, no doubt. Still, there was probably some discomfort, but they were much more consumed by their heavenly pursuit than by their desire to sit at a sumptuous table and satiate their bodily desires. They were driven by heavenly causes over and above their personal peace and comfort.

Jesus said, “I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.” Isaiah cried out to those who spend their money for that which is not bread. “Eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness.” Proverbs reminds us that wisdom beckons to the simple. “Come, eat of my bread, and drink of the wine which I have mingled. Forsake the foolish, and live.” Life is not in the bread of this world but in the heavenly bread that comes down from heaven.

I was willing to forsake much fine eating this summer to see the tops of mountains, glory in the alpine meadows of the upper Rockies, catch trout in high lakes, see the wildlife of remote woodlands, and climb heights for panoramic vistas. It was well worth it. May I be so willing to forsake the pleasures of this world, the dainty meats of the evil one, and the ease of the wide and broad path for the sake of gaining the heavenly kingdom and doing the will of my Father in heaven. May we all be so driven to do the will of Him who sent our Savior that we do not even notice those momentary sacrifices that impinge upon our personal peace and affluence. To him who does, “bread shall be given; his waters shall be sure (Isa. 33:16).”